We Love it Here. Is That Ok?

  Falling asleep with the cool 'winter' breezes blowing through our room, listening to monkeys chatter, while waves crash on the sand somewhere in the distance, I thought, "I really love it here."

  My second thought was, "Too bad I can't share this part of our life."

  WHAT?! Why not? Why do I feel the need to amplify the negative instead of glorifying God for all the beauty and joy that we have found here?

  It started many years ago with some good advice, "Be careful how you represent your life there. People may think you are just on vacation if you only post the beach and the beauty." With that wisdom in our ears, we began to plan just how to accurately represent what our lives would be like. Over time, however, wisdom and tact turned into anxiety and fear.

  Don't use that image in the slide show. Don't post that picture on Instagram. Emphasize the heat, bugs, poverty. Anything that 'proves' that we are not just lounging around in the Caribbean. 

  These were the thoughts that swirled through my head on an almost daily basis. I felt guilty for our Sunday afternoons at the pool with friends, enjoying the view of the ocean as I drove around, or taking an unexpectedly free afternoon to go to the beach. This tiny 69-square-mile island is surrounded by water. The beach is one of the only free activities. But the fear and guilt would still creep up.

  I would feel as if we weren't 'suffering for Jesus' the way we were expected to.

  And is that really what makes a missionary good and right? Do they have to live in a mud hut with no running water and the constant risk of malaria in order to be seen as 'real' missionaries? Because that's the image of missions I had in my head my whole life. No one ever said it, but that was the message conveyed through stories and books and conversations. It's why I used to tell God, "No way! Don't choose me. I wont go." I know, the irony right?

  And maybe it's not just dirt floors that prove a missionary's worth. There were plenty of other 'qualifications' I would allow to float around in my mind. And if you're honest, and if you have ever thought about missions for more than a moment, I bet you could come up with a whole list of 'real missions work' too.

  But people with hurts and struggles in the Caribbean? In a place that happens to be beautiful and warm? A place where lots of cruise ships port, or that is home to more than one beautiful resort?

Can you sense why we felt the need to focus on the hard, and bad, and difficult?

  Ok, so we aren't here to lay at the beach, to live normal lives, or even just have a healthy family and nice friends. Keeping ourselves in check is a good thing. We have a calling. We are here to proclaim freedom and hope. We are here to follow after God, and to equip and serve churches to share His plan for healing and restoration in the most broken places of their communities. There is long-term vision for residential recovery programs and island-wide addiction help. The beach is great, but the work is greater.

  We love the work! We just somehow felt that the work was all we were allowed to enjoy.

  So we pushed forward. We focused on the hard. We told you about the centipedes, the sweat, and no air conditioning. We talked about animals in the roads, grocery prices, and dirt roads. We showed how our cars fall apart from the salty air. Anything we found hard. To prove we were really worth the title of missionary. To you. To ourselves. But it was so bad for our hearts. It bred discontent, guilt, and bad attitudes. It became our normal to live in that negative place.

“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:14-15 (emphasis added)‬

  “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:22‬ ‭

    Then God did something wonderful! Without even having to ask Him, He began to show me so many sweet and JOY-filled things about our life here: Christmas lights put up in town this year, neighborhood friends for my kids to run around with, the way the sun hits the mountains to the north of our house, how good this slow paced life is for us, the value of a relationship building culture instead of an efficiency focused one, an incredible and diverse school for our kids to learn and grow in, and in the way the sun shines on the Atlantic in the morning when I drive down this one road to get coffee or go walking with friends. He kept showing me His love in this way over and over. 

  I felt so convicted about the complaints, and God gently turned me toward His provision of JOY. He reminded me that He created the beauty of our host country, and that we are allowed to enjoy it. God spoke to my heart about rest and rhythm and a good attitude.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ 

  So this year I will choose to focus on the JOY that comes from living and serving God here. I choose not to focus on differences, inconveniences, or challenges (somebody remind me of this when it's hotter, or the next time I see a centipede, or need to go to a government office). I choose to present my requests to God and thank Him for all He has done so that I can focus on all the true and right and lovely things He has provided. So I hope that will be ok. I hope you will rejoice in knowing that we absolutely LOVE being in the place God has called us to.

  We don't live 'on vacation every day' (as a sweet flight attendant recently asked). Our lives are not perfect, not always easy, and it is not the same as life back in Tennessee. But what we do have here is special, and so very precious to us. We truly love this island we call home. 

And you know what else? I know, for a fact, that I can trust God. So if mud huts (or some other uncomfortable thing) is in our future - that will be ok! There will be JOY in that place too.


 What is God doing to show you the JOY in your life right now? I'd love to know! As I'm sure you can guess, my word for this year is JOY. Do you ask God for a word each year? What's your word for 2019?

One of our recent joy-filled days - A beach cookout with sweet friends.